Chapter Fourteen: Full Circle

I have quite a few pet peeves. One of them being when people change and others make the comment, “Wow you did a complete 360.” Wait, so you’re saying they didn’t change at all? 

For the record, it’s 180. You have turned your back on who you used to be or things you used to do. 

Last week it rained. Man, it rained. It came down like buckets and trucks. But for some reason, on my way home, I glanced up at the sky as the rain began to slow down, and I had to stop and take some pictures. It wasn’t until I was looking through them that I realized it was a street I lived on as a child. 

You ever hear the expression, “You don’t know my story?” Well, as overused as it is, believe it. 

Stay with me because this is going somewhere, I promise. 

The building in this picture is, and has pretty much always been, a senior citizen building. It’s not great but it serves its purpose. My great-grandparents lived here for what seemed like forever. When I used to visit I felt like I was in an episode of The Jeffersons. 

Well one year, when I was nine, we stopped visiting and we just… stayed. I continued to go to school in the suburbs but had to be picked up and dropped off every day by my cousin who would drive from the south suburbs to the city. I started to miss a lot of days in school and only showed up field trips. My grades were poppin tho!

Anyway, the following school year I was transferred to a school in the neighborhood. I hated it. Everyone made fun of me because I “talked white” and “thought I was better than everyone else.” These people didn’t even know where Riverdale was! I barely made friends, but when I did they found out where I lived and made fun of me. They refused to be my friend because I wouldn’t- couldn’t- answer the question of why I lived there. 

We weren’t supposed to live there. My great grandmother got sick and that was what I was told to say, but I couldn’t keep saying we lived there, even though we really did. Turns out, we didn’t have anywhere else to go at the time. 

The rest of this story doesn’t really matter, but I’ll wrap it up by letting you all know that we moved back to the suburbs almost two years later when my great grandmother passed away. 

Y’all, I live five minutes away from this street now. When I moved in last year I didn’t think about it until I was on my way to work one day and decided to take the bus. We drove right pass the street and I was just like, well shut my mouth wide open. 

So much as changed for me since then. The neighborhood has changed. 

Change, is inevitable. 

Two years ago, when I moved back home, I had an interview. The day I stepped back into the city, it was pouring (okay clearly rain is becoming my thing). I had to take the quickest shower and head straight over to a school basically on the other side of the city. 

I got there and I began looking around. Something felt… familiar. I kept looking and touching things and feeling. 

We walked into one of the classrooms and began the interview. It hit me. I went to that school! 

You don’t know my story. 

For the first three years of my life I lived in Altgeld Gardens. It’s where most of my family lived. It’s where my father died. It’s where my grandfather died. All the memories! Okay that seemed morbid but it’s the truth. 

Now, I didn’t get the job, but leaving there made me feel like I was doing something right. What I’ve experienced, what makes me who I am, didn’t keep me from being greater than what was constantly presented to me. 

When I tell y’all my life has been coming full circle the last two years, buh-lee me. Every time I wonder if I’m doing this right or even why I continue to try, I’m reminded that it could have been worse. Based on how I grew up, it should have been  

I don’t have a lot of things figured out. But knowing that I’m not going backward or being stagnant is something that continues to drive me every day. 

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