Chapter Twelve: Find Your Root

Why do you do the things you do? Why are you the way you are? Learned behaviors play a key role in figuring out the answers to those questions. 

About a week and a half ago two important things happened. The first was my twenty-seventh birthday. The second was my friend graduating from her master’s program. Well two months ago we decided to celebrate them both simultaneously. I wanted to go to Miami, but was open to other locations. A month later nothing solid had been put into place. I had basically given up on going anywhere or doing anything. She started to really look into locations and prices. She chose New Orleans and I was upset. I wanted to go but how could I when this was so last minute?

After some back and forth I agreed and purchased my plan tickets. I still had some reservations because I felt like I wasn’t prepared. And I was still a little angry because people know that I am a planner. 

The day before my birthday I spent time on the lake front. I did some yoga and laid out. I felt so much gratitude. I saw twenty-six as the year of reflection. Twenty-seven had to be the year of manifestation. 

After I left the lake front I went to see my mom at her job. We talked about my plans to go out of town and what I had done that day. I invited her to come do yoga with me. I said we could plan be night before and she said, “You know I plan my life in advance.”

That’s when it dawned on me. I said, “Yes I know. And you’re my root. My friend wakes up and goes places while I wake up and plan to go places months from the day.”

Guise, we gotta live life. 

A learned behavior. I learned that planning is essential, so much so that I was unable to budge without a plan. That day I thought about all the learned behaviors that make me who I am. While I wouldn’t change who I’ve become, not every behavior is good or positive or beneficial. I realized that in order to really tackle an internal problem like this, I had to figure out when it started. Why it started. I had to evaluate how it could be holding me back from achieving greatness. 

We went to New Orleans. While I may not have found my great great great great great great grandmother, I found a feeling of excitement, opportunity, growth, and belonging. The tours we went on. The people we met. The history we learned. Every aspect screamed, “find your root.” 

Who am I? Who will I become? What will I achieve? The answer is limitless. I am limitless. I will be limitless. And I will achieve unimaginable levels of greatness. 

But first, I have to find my root(s).


📷: jywilson

Chapter Six: You’re Where You’re Supposed to Be

I’ve been searching for my place. In life in general. In the lives of others. Even in my life. 

I have somehow gotten out of the habit of taking time for me. Doing things I enjoy. While I continuously surround myself with people who have my best interest at heart, I need to have my best interest at heart as well. 

Today, I contemplated where I stood in the universe. [Allow yourself to feel] Things are bottled up. They are trying to find an exit, but I won’t allow the breakdown. The inevitable. 

My sister is actually pretty great. I shared these things with her and her response?

Just because today isn’t great doesn’t reflect who you are. Maybe today the Universe needed to show someone else where they stand in life. It’s going to be okay. 

Wow. 

I haven’t heard such great words in a while. 

You’re right where you’re supposed to be. And when you feel displaced, remember that your situation isn’t a reflection of you. You’re great. Beautiful. Strong. And you’re going to make it. 

You’re right where you’re supposed to be. 

Chapter Five: Cleanse

What happened, you ask? 

Transformation. You will see this a lot: change is inevitable. 

Sometimes we need to go through our lives and cleanse them. Whether it be blog posts, people, or things. We have to learn to declutter. To get rid of that which is not necessary and/or harmful. To figure out what harm we are doing and fix it. Even if that means ending a friendship or relationship. 

I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. Especially this past week. Never allow anyone to make it seem like your feelings are invalid. Never treat people like crap and expect them to be okay with it. Never put yourself in the position to have your energy constantly drained. 

Energy is a powerful thing.

Keep shining. Keep flourishing. Keep changing.