Chapter Seven: But

Think about the last time you told your story. Think about the last time you tried to explain yourself. Think about the last thing you did and why. 

Did any of  those situations include additional details using the word “but”?

My god grandfather was a great man. I’m constantly reminded of him and how everything he taught me applies to every aspect of life. The past week I keep thinking about his lesson on the word “but.”

“But” cancels out everything you said that came before it. “I wanted to help you, but I had to work.” “I wanted to do the right thing, but I was afraid.” In the same light people say, “I’ve struggled a lot, but God got me through it all.”

No matter what your intentions are, using that interjection cancels out whatever you meant to do or say.

I can’t even pretend like I haven’t tried to find a way around this. 

I’ll keep it short and sweet this week. Cancel out the negative, shed light on the positive. 

When you’re thinking of what to do or say and you find that you’ve hit the “but” part of it all, think about what you’re really setting out to accomplish. Try using the words “and” or “instead.” And as you find different words, realize the transformation being made. You’ll end up transforming the way you think, which will reflect in actions, and in words. It’s a great way to check in with what really matters, and who. 

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Chapter Six: Emotional Rollercoaster

The last two weeks have been hard. I’ve been learning lesson after lesson, but never took the time to let everything sink in. 

When you take time for yourself, make sure you’re using that time to also reflect. Yes, it’s important to do something that makes you happy and relaxes you. But as you relax or begin to enjoy your time, think about the day or the week. Realize your feelings about events that have happened. 

I forgot that part. So I went through the ups and downs of being emotionally overwhelmed. I felt paralyzed. Like I had to allow myself to feel, for every moment I overlooked, all at the same time. 

It’s exhausting. 

People leave. People let you down. Sometimes you let yourself down. When this happens, it’s often hard to control our reactions, whether we be sad, angry, or disappointed. 

I searched for ways to be active and present for myself, even though I felt like I couldn’t. One article stated that we must acknowledge our feelings so we can control our response to how we feel. For we cannot control how we feel, but we can control how we allow ourselves to act in response to them. 

So acknowledge how you feel, especially when you don’t want to or feel as though you can’t. Come up with a game plan now, so you won’t have to search for one on the spot. 

What’s my game plan?

I’ll try to think through my response. What’s going to be the healthiest and most fulfilling way to respond to this anger or sadness? How do I make sure I don’t take it out on others, even if they are part of the problem? Think. Breathe. Solution. But most importantly, save the solution for last. 

Be gentle with yourself. 

Chapter Five: Be Specific

We all have needs and wants. But we often confuse the two. We need food, water, and housing. We want the best of all of those things. Sometimes we think if we can’t get the best we shouldn’t get anything. 

Needs over wants. 

You have to start from the base basic need in order to build up to the best of that need. 

So be specific. 

We put things out into the atmosphere. We ask God/the universe for so many things. We say, “I really want to find a better job.” Or, “I neee to pay my rent but I don’t know how I’m going to do that this month.” We put intentions out there without really following through or believing. 

When I was 17 I moved out of my aunt’s house. It wasn’t the best situation, but I admit that it could have been worse. I prayed for a way out for almost three years before my prayers were answered. 

Side note: be patient. 

Years later I found myself in an unhappy relationship. I had given so much. When we invest time and energy into something or someone, it’s hard to let go. (You don’t owe time or energy to anyone but yourself, just so you know.) I prayed for a sign that I needed to let go. That it was okay to let go. Not even twenty four hours later I received that sign, but I ignored it. 

Side note: be open to the answer, whether it’s what you want or not. Be ready to follow through. 

This past year, after spending so much time working two jobs, I prayed for a full-time position. I started landing interviews but didn’t have any offers. Then I prayed for a full-time position doing something I was passionate about. I landed more interviews than before and received some offers. I finally accepted a position that would allow me to obtain the experience I need for my desired field. 

This is why I say be specific and be ready to follow through. 

I’m a morning person and have been since the dawn of time. The position I accepted is second shift. That entails me going to work in the afternoon and getting home just after midnight. BUT it’s full-time. 

I put all my prayers and intentions into finding a full-time position in this field, but I forgot one the most important factors-time. Had I added that to my prayers and intentions I would have probably landed some type of dream job that I didn’t even qualify for. 

Things happen the way they happen because of our intentions, actions, and what we need, not want. 

I need the experience and I love the job, I just would have preferred a different shift. This just means I have to reset my intentions and work towards them. 

Be as specific as you can when you pray, set intentions, or begin manifesting. Be patient with the process. Trust God/the universe with timing. When you ask for something make sure you’re prepared for the answer. And make sure you’re ready to follow through, even if that means standing still.