Chapter Ten: When Enough AIN’T Enough

I’ve been pretty stuck on this one. Partly because I’ve had to have several revelations on the topic. 

First, what is enough? As someone who majored in psychology, I often ask what is the operational definition of words. How can we measure “enough”?

You see the initial complication?

Right. 

So for all intents and purposes, we will measure enough by what one person wants and how well those needs and wants are fulfilled by another person. 

So let’s switch up the question a little. What do you require?

I don’t think I require much. I tend to list broad things that, if fulfilled, will trickle down into the smaller details. For example, honesty is on my list. If you can be honest with me you should care about whatever friendship or relationship we have to always tell me how it is, or isn’t. If you’re honest, I can trust you. If I can trust you I will allow you into parts of my life that most aren’t privy to. If I let you in, well you’re in there like swimwear lol. At this point I know I can rely on you or lean on you in times when I would normally keep to myself. 

I like broad terms. 

But, what happens when what you require isn’t something another person can give you?

More complication. 

Are they unable to give what you require because they don’t have it to give or because they don’t want to give it?

Another example. 

When people enter relationships they have to compromise a lot. More than they think. But when you get together with someone who is used to roaming the land and doing as they please, how willing are they to give up that freedom? Not to say they are tied down or that you want to act as their parent. No, in simple terms, how willing are they to go from being a single person acting within the realm of “me” to acting in the realm of “us”?

Each relationship or friendship or any -ship comes with different requirements. Keep that in mind. Each person and situation is different. Never treat someone like someone else based on the -ship. 

If they are unable because they aren’t willing or because they don’t have it, that’s the end. No need to go further. Either you will accept this shortcoming or walk away. Either you will re-evaluate just how important this requirement is and decide it doesn’t hold much weight, or you decide this is something that is important to you. 

You have to establish the value of your needs and wants. Never sit around and wait for someone to develop some need or want you desire. Never wait for anyone to develop for you. That’s not what we are here for. We are here to develop for ourselves, into ourselves, and change the world. 

Bottom line, sometimes enough just ain’t enough. You gotta learn to grow and go. If you can, avoid bad feelings. Love and appreciate every person and situation for those great blissful moments and for what you were able to learn about yourself and the world. 

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