Chapter Eight: You’re Strong Until You Don’t Have to Be

Striving for independence is something most of us do. We get into situations where we think we can handle things ourselves. We start to think we don’t need help. Some of us start to believe we don’t want help. Like I’ve been going strong all my life, why do I need others?

You do. 

We are all strong. We have all overcome something. Lived through something that should have killed us in some way.

This past week I realized we are strong until we don’t have to be. What does that mean? Does that mean we eventually become week? What happens when we no longer have to have to be strong. 

Slow down. We’re getting there. 

We depend on others until we either no longer have to or until they prove that we shouldn’t. A crazy thing happens at some point, at several points, in our lives. We find someone we can depend on. We find someone we can lean on. And when we find that person, we begin to break down. They begin to let us know they are there for support and, with a little fight, we begin to allow them to be. 

I like to handle things by myself. That’s how I’ve always done it. Every now and again I allow someone in and they allow me to lean on them and vice versa.

Don’t lean too much. Don’t lean too long. Don’t allow others to lean too much or too long. 

I had somewhat of a difficult week. But there was only one person who I felt would make it better. Only one person who I felt I needed to talk to. Only one person who could even begin to catch me before I fell. 

Again, slow down. 

We can’t be fully emotionally available to everyone. We have to find those who are worthy. 

Is this person worthy? Honestly, it’s pending. Do I want them to be? Yes. Does that mean I force them into the position to eventually prove themselves? No. 

Baby steps. Take some baby steps. 

So when we find that person who we feel is worthy. Who can handle us in those weak moments. We let our guards down and we allow them to be strong for us. We allow ourselves to breathe and acknowledge the fact that we are only strong when we have to be. We better understand the weight we carry, daily, due to being strong for ourselves and others. We understand what it means to allow someone to be strong for us when we can’t be. 

It’s scary. But, change is inevitable and you have to find ways to be vulnerable when needed. You have to accept your feelings and find ways to express them. 

Emotions are tricky. They can make you think or feel something that is only true for the moment. But we are working toward those lifetime goals. So each day, find a way to be vulnerable with someone who matters. Find a way for relax and unload with someone who can be strong for you. 

Be gentle with yourself. Be gentle with others. 

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