Chapter Eight: You’re Strong Until You Don’t Have to Be

Striving for independence is something most of us do. We get into situations where we think we can handle things ourselves. We start to think we don’t need help. Some of us start to believe we don’t want help. Like I’ve been going strong all my life, why do I need others?

You do. 

We are all strong. We have all overcome something. Lived through something that should have killed us in some way.

This past week I realized we are strong until we don’t have to be. What does that mean? Does that mean we eventually become week? What happens when we no longer have to have to be strong. 

Slow down. We’re getting there. 

We depend on others until we either no longer have to or until they prove that we shouldn’t. A crazy thing happens at some point, at several points, in our lives. We find someone we can depend on. We find someone we can lean on. And when we find that person, we begin to break down. They begin to let us know they are there for support and, with a little fight, we begin to allow them to be. 

I like to handle things by myself. That’s how I’ve always done it. Every now and again I allow someone in and they allow me to lean on them and vice versa.

Don’t lean too much. Don’t lean too long. Don’t allow others to lean too much or too long. 

I had somewhat of a difficult week. But there was only one person who I felt would make it better. Only one person who I felt I needed to talk to. Only one person who could even begin to catch me before I fell. 

Again, slow down. 

We can’t be fully emotionally available to everyone. We have to find those who are worthy. 

Is this person worthy? Honestly, it’s pending. Do I want them to be? Yes. Does that mean I force them into the position to eventually prove themselves? No. 

Baby steps. Take some baby steps. 

So when we find that person who we feel is worthy. Who can handle us in those weak moments. We let our guards down and we allow them to be strong for us. We allow ourselves to breathe and acknowledge the fact that we are only strong when we have to be. We better understand the weight we carry, daily, due to being strong for ourselves and others. We understand what it means to allow someone to be strong for us when we can’t be. 

It’s scary. But, change is inevitable and you have to find ways to be vulnerable when needed. You have to accept your feelings and find ways to express them. 

Emotions are tricky. They can make you think or feel something that is only true for the moment. But we are working toward those lifetime goals. So each day, find a way to be vulnerable with someone who matters. Find a way for relax and unload with someone who can be strong for you. 

Be gentle with yourself. Be gentle with others. 

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Chapter Seven: Be Vulnerable

We have become filled with pride, dislike, fluffed up personalities, and hardened by certain experiences. 

Here’s the catch. Things happen to you but they don’t define who you are. 

I was having a conversation with a friend and she helped me understand that I haven’t dealt with a lot of things from my past. I hate being stuck. I hate feeling like I have no room to grow. So even though I knew she was right, I chose to ignore it. 

Just a few days later I was on a weekly prayer call and was told the exact same thing. I thought, wow this is really something I need to deal with. 

It changed my mood. I was going through feelings and situations that I want to be reconciled but haven’t had the guts to confront. I thought by dealing with everything else, or even nothing at all, I was able to continue evolving. 

Understand, evolution can be stagnant. Everything around you is evolving so you think you’re doing the same thing. But really you’re being left behind. 

Deal with your issues. If something bothers you, talk about. If someone offends you and it makes you feel a way, talk to to them. 

I hate being vulnerable, as most people do. It’s like I’m naked in a crowd of people who can see every insecurity and flaw I have and that’s all they can see. Like every breath I take is being judged. 

I hate it. 

But we have to be vulnerable to deal with certain situations. It’s in our vulnerability that we find truth. That we accept everything we dislike about ourselves. It’s where we find overwhelming love for self and others. 

If I can’t acknowledge my weaknesses what makes me think I know what my strengths are? How do we find them? By being vulnerable. 

I’m not saying go out and shed your “clothes” for every person you encounter, in every setting. I’m saying, make your vulnerable moments count. When you aren’t sure. Own it. When you’re afraid own it. When you just don’t know how to make it. Own it! 

Go out and make every moment count, especially the vulnerable ones. Stand in the sun and allow it to kiss your skin, flaws and all. 

Chapter Six: You’re Where You’re Supposed to Be

I’ve been searching for my place. In life in general. In the lives of others. Even in my life. 

I have somehow gotten out of the habit of taking time for me. Doing things I enjoy. While I continuously surround myself with people who have my best interest at heart, I need to have my best interest at heart as well. 

Today, I contemplated where I stood in the universe. [Allow yourself to feel] Things are bottled up. They are trying to find an exit, but I won’t allow the breakdown. The inevitable. 

My sister is actually pretty great. I shared these things with her and her response?

Just because today isn’t great doesn’t reflect who you are. Maybe today the Universe needed to show someone else where they stand in life. It’s going to be okay. 

Wow. 

I haven’t heard such great words in a while. 

You’re right where you’re supposed to be. And when you feel displaced, remember that your situation isn’t a reflection of you. You’re great. Beautiful. Strong. And you’re going to make it. 

You’re right where you’re supposed to be. 

Chapter Five: Cleanse

What happened, you ask? 

Transformation. You will see this a lot: change is inevitable. 

Sometimes we need to go through our lives and cleanse them. Whether it be blog posts, people, or things. We have to learn to declutter. To get rid of that which is not necessary and/or harmful. To figure out what harm we are doing and fix it. Even if that means ending a friendship or relationship. 

I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. Especially this past week. Never allow anyone to make it seem like your feelings are invalid. Never treat people like crap and expect them to be okay with it. Never put yourself in the position to have your energy constantly drained. 

Energy is a powerful thing.

Keep shining. Keep flourishing. Keep changing.